Death to the Ego??

Call it enlightenment, call it transcendence; ego death is one of the most profound (and sometimes frightening) experiences someone can have in their life.

You may not realize it, but throughout your life, you have created a sense of whom you think you are. This starts in childhood, but over time, the words we hear, the thoughts we have, and the experiences we go through all shape this sense of self - or ego. By the time we reach adulthood, we are mostly living unconsciously, controlled by an unconscious mind. We identify so strongly with this sense of self, that we have forgotten who it is we truly are. But the truth is, we are all so much more than the layers of thoughts and beliefs we surround ourselves with.

What Is Your Ego?

In this blog, I’ll explain exactly what the ego is, how to become more aware of yours, and how to free yourself from egoic thinking.

The word ego is Latin and can be translated to “I” - our constructed sense of self. The ego is like a layer of who we think we are, which separates us from whom we are truly meant to be. While you may think the ego is your identity, the real you lies beneath the layers of protection you’ve applied throughout your life to keep you feeling safe.

Our learning about the ego dates back to Sigmund Freud, who came up with the psychoanalytic theory and discusses the impact of our unconscious mind on our thoughts or behaviors. Freud’s theory of personality states that "there are three divisions of the psyche or human mind and these three parts drive human behavior. These can be broken into the ‘ego’, ‘id’, and ‘superego’. The id is the instinctual part of our conscious mind, with the other two driving responses to our basic needs, urges, and desires. The ego develops after the "id" and allows these desires to be expressed in an acceptable way to the external world - which Freud calls the ‘reality principle. The superego, or big ego, is part of the psyche that is our moral compass. This is initially learned from our parents but continues to grow as our morals develop. Freud believed that to have a strong sense of who we are (the ego), the id and superego need to be balanced. In his personality theory, Freud discusses being aware of defense mechanisms. This is how we protect ourselves when things happen in the external reality that doesn't go along with our inner reality.

How the ego shows up?

Ego is something that many of us associate with arrogance, boasting, or someone that has an overinflated sense of importance. But the truth is, we have all been conditioned to act using our egos. So how do we know what is the ego and what isn’t? Some of the ways that the ego shows up are:

• Indecision.

• Resistance.

• Anger.

• Perfectionism.

• Stubbornness.

• Judgment.

• Impatience.

• Negative self-talk.

The ego comes from a lack of awareness, leaving an emotional path of destruction after it. It wants us to feel better than others and prioritizes our interests. It does not live in the present moment and relies on the power of thought for it to become stronger.

How to free yourself of your ego Many people want to know how to get rid of their egos. It is not our enemy; it is an illusion of ourselves. Freeing yourself from your ego is one of the most empowering things you’ll ever do. To rediscover our authentic selves, we must be willing to move past the thinking that places a hold on us and learn how to create more self-awareness. These steps will help you to check your ego and move past egoic thinking:

Step 1: Observe your thoughts To begin the process of freeing ourselves from the constraints of ego, we must become conscious of our thoughts from an outside perspective, noticing them without judgment. Awareness of things we don’t usually see is key to beginning our journey to freedom.

Step 2: Overcome feelings of needing to be better. The ego likes to separate us from other people when in reality, we are one. We do not need to feel superior to others; we can learn to stop worrying about what other people are doing and, instead, increase our sense of self-worth.

Step 3: Practice being present. Being present allows us to receive insight and connect with our true selves. And when we are present, we are not creating stories to fuel the ego. Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to bring us back to the now.

Step 4: Let go of judgment. When we let go of judgment, we allow ourselves the opportunity to focus on the goodness within ourselves and others. Instead, choose love and send compassion.

Step 5: Practice gratitude. The powerful practice of gratitude helps us to start appreciating the little things. Gratitude helps the ego to stop comparing to others because whatever you are grateful for in the present moment is always enough. Instead of ego-inflating your circumstances, gratitude will help you to find peace.

Healing your ego... One of the most empowering steps you can take is to begin healing your ego. Our Spiritual Coaching Services are ideal for delving into your belief system and discovering where your ego may be ruling your life. Get in touch to find out how we can support you and to book your free 30-minute consultation.